Mr. Starchman is an English teacher at Mayview Middle School in Paranatural.
Appearance[]
Mr. Starchman is a portly, balding man who wears a pair of glasses whose circular lenses obscure his eyes. While teaching at school, he wears a white dress shirt, a tie, a belt with slacks of his choice, and black shoes.
In Chapter 1, Mr. Starchman wears a purple tie with grey slacks. In Chapter 4, he wears a green tie with beige slacks. In Chapter 5, he wears a red tie with grey slacks.
Personality[]
Mr. Starchman has a very eccentric, energetic personality. He uses an unusual method of education where he encourages the students to participate by dealing out gold stars for answering questions, which can be exchanged for various prizes[1]. He does not seem to like artists[2] and does not understand the basics of CGI, believing Ed Burger when he said that his and Isabel Guerra's spectral powers were such[3]. In his spare time, Mr. Starchman enjoys skating in floor puddles, showering coins on children by the vending machines, talking with animals[4], and playing with his fingerboard[5].
Background[]
Mr. Starchman is constantly chased between classes by a group of delinquent student for "centuries"[6], to the point where he has become adept at seemingly effortlessly fighting back against[7] and running away from[8] them. Prior to Ed, RJ, and Johnny Jhonny in Chapter 5, not a single one of them had ever caught him.
Paranatural[]
Chapter 1[]
Max is introduced to Mr. Starchman when the latter bombastically enters the room. The Starch soon notices a new arrival in the classroom and awards Max a star for giving his name. Starchman also explains that Starchman Stars can be exchanged for many prizes.
Chapter 4[]
Johnny discusses his discovery of Isaac O'Connor lightning abilities as well as his suspicions of Max Puckett fence-vaulting prowess with the rest of his friends and instructs Stephen to interrogate "the kid with the hair".
Starchman interrupts by asking what they're doing, to which they reply that they're doing arts and crafts...in an English class. As Stephen rejects the subject label, Starchman summons a pool noodle from the background and threatens them by saying, "Do you know what we do to artists?"
Chapter 5[]
Starchman is suspected to be a possible target of Hijack's possession for his then-unknown plan. Ed Burger is assigned to tail Mr. Starchman for signs of possession. Starchman engages in various blithely actions during Ed's investigation, including figure skating on a wet floor, tossing change atop a vending machine to various children as if he were feeding birds, and attracting many adoring animals to his location. Ed wonders how he's supposed to tell if Starchman's acting weird since his actions generally always seem outlandish. Starchman stops at a trash can, and after almost getting spotted, Ed witnesses Starchman pull out a finger skateboard from his pocket and use the trash can lid as a ramp to do tricks. As Ed is marveling at the miracle he just witnessed, Johnny and RJ take the opportunity to kidnap him.
After Ed is interrogated by the bullies and defeats them in combat, he takes the opening they provide to gain their assistance in taking down the Starch. The English teacher manages to put on one roller skate before being alerted to the trio's presence, upon which he pulls out a Nerf gun and fires. RJ, mounted on top of Johnny and wielding a locker door shield from their encounter with Ed, blocks these shots as the unlikely combination of assailants gives chase; Starchman responds by firing a dart at Johnny's shoelace, which causes him to trip and for RJ's door to go sailing forward. Ed jumps on the locker door and uses the skateboard technique Starchman showcased earlier to grind down a railing. The locker door begins to lose momentum, but Johnny and RJ come through for Ed by shoving him so hard he careens into the teacher and tackles him to the floor. The bully bros dogpile onto the two and celebrate their victory before questioning what they did this for. Starchman gives a quick reply: he was being stalked for Starchman Stars.
A group of off-screen raiders confirms that they had been chasing Starchman for centuries and were off-camera during the recent pursuit. The mysterious English teacher rewards the trio for their successful capture as Ed panics from the realization that Hijack is not in the target. Ed flees the scene as Johnny expresses his desire to have similar ventures with Ed, leaving the bully bros on top of Starchman. Johnny states there's something important he's forgetting as Vice Principal DuNacht leers over the two and their capture.
Abilities[]
General[]
Starchman is extremely agile, being able to figure skate on a puddle of water and performing many flips on a rollerskate while being chased by Ed, Johnny, and RJ. He also possesses impeccable accuracy with a Nurf gun, being able to hit Johnny's shoelace while not looking at him and moving at a decent distance away[9].
Quotes[]
- Mr. Starchman: "Tell me, student! Would you like to win a Starchman Star!? They can be exchanged for a plethora of prizes! Just answer one question! What... ...IS YOUR NAME??"
- Max: "Um... Max."
- Mr. Starchman: "THAT'S THE BEST NAME! You've earned a star!"
- — Mr. Starchman and Max (Chapter 1, Page 44
)
- Mr. Starchman: "Mr. Spender, about this blank piece of pape— OH MY STARS!"
- Ed: "It's CGI"
- Mr. Starchman: "Oh, OK."
- — Mr. Starchman after coming across Ed and Isabel using their powers (Chapter 4, Page 64)
- "is this a "flash mob""
- — Mr. Starchman upon seeing the Activity Club members burst into the teacher's lounge (Chapter 5, Page 103)
- "Do you want to know what we do to artists?"
- — Mr. Starchman to Johnny's gang (Chapter 4, Page 30)
Trivia[]
- Mr. Starchman, along with 3 Starchman Stars, is used as the image link for Zack's Patreon page.
- Mr. Starchman likely has a significant other, as his lunch bag has a message with "Have a good day honey" and a heart written on it.[10]
Gallery[]
Official Artwork[]
Comic[]
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